Nobody wants to be a nobody.
Seriously, if you think about it for a moment, you have an innate desire to be 'somebody' or 'something'.
"What do you want to be when you grow up?" For the longest time my daughter wanted to be a vet. That changed when she realized she didn't like blood...and she might have to do stuff that is really gross! Then she wanted to be a teacher. This is slowly changing and the other day she said she wanted to work at a spa! Oh, my precious one! I hope one day she comes to the place of realizing that she is a nobody, created to be a somebody.
Here's the thing. This morning while I was at a city wide prayer meeting I saw all our titles being thrown to the ground. All our duties, job descriptions, the ways 'we' describe ourselves and the deficits that we still live with and all of it was rubbish and thrown out and what was left was just abiding in Jesus, and living in the empowerment of the Holy Spirit, knowing the affections of our Heavenly Father.
Here in this place of total surrender, nothing hinders us. We can no longer say... "I can't serve because...I can't do that because...I'm not strong enough because...I'm too weak because...I don't know enough yet because...I'm not qualified, because..."
The moment we said yes and amen to Jesus' work of salvation/gospel message and we've been baptized, we are a 'new creation, created to do His good deeds that he has established for us to do...long before we even said...YES!
So nothing else matters.
I continue to struggle with the residuals of being gay identified, and authentically walk out my same gender attractions, and have done great work in the whole area of searching my heart, asking Jesus to heal and restore many deficits, and yet what remains is the residuals of sin...but I can't use any of that to stop me from doing what HE calls me to do, which is to be the Spiritual Head of my home, to love and call forth my wife and child and to make disciples of all nations. That means, fear, insecurities, esteem issues, identity issues, deficits...all take second place to trusting God with what he tells me to do, and the submission of all authority in the empowerment of the Holy Spirit, who equips me with all wisdom and knowledge to do what pleases God. Not out of duty or to check something off a list but to really do it out of a love relationship that come from abiding in him and being obedient.
So today, I cried out to him for more...that he would continue to form and create in me a new person, the old has gone the new has come...and I told him, I'm scared...but I won't back down to what HE wants to do, because it isn't about me, I'm a nobody, created to be a somebody, to further His kingdom here on earth as it is in heaven.
Today, if you feel like you are stuck in fear, insecurities, and maybe a list of "I can't...or...I'm scared!" That is the best place to start, in acknowledging your need of the Holy Spirit, Jesus and God.
Call out to him while He is near, and He will show you the way to go...and do what pleases him.
Psalms 1-5
Proverbs 1
No comments:
Post a Comment