Thursday, December 17, 2009
One day older?
The other day, I was sharing with a friend the good news of our daughters birth. They mentioned that each day we get older and older and one day pass away.
As usual, the comment sat with me percolating in my mind. Then as I lay in bed, the thought came to mind...are we getting older or are we getting younger?
If we think of the word of God, we get the taste that yes, each day is passing us by, but we are also getting renewed each day. If we embrace the process of renewal, we are in a sense becoming new each day. Brand new. Not a trace of yesterday is in today. If that is so, we are actually gaining something by embracing the restoring work of Jesus Christ.
I had to look back again with astonishment as I look in the face of my daughter...yes my daughter. She is brand new...7 days old (outside the womb anyways). It gets me to look back at what was...and now what is. The previous life of debauchery, of self gratification and self indulgence. Of living to please myself, and living in the deceptive lie that I was created gay. As I look into Phoebe's eyes, I see myself, I see my wife. I see what the two of us...partnering with God, have created. But even going beyond even natural child birth, I also see in the eyes of my adopted niece and nephew the character and also the eyes of their parents. Both Father and Mother, working together to nurture and care for them, giving the gift of their gender to their child.
It is hard to believe that 4 years ago, I was just leaving a gay identity. So broken and wounded, so angry, yet willing to allow my savior to wrap me in bandages, to clean my wounds. It has been a grace filled 4 years, of being renewed, or gaining wisdom and understanding and of being restored...being made new.
As my daughter "ages", so will her parents...my wife and I. As older parents, we will rely on God to give us strength, as we dedicate our bodies to health, as we continue to renew our mind with the word, so that we can give all we can to our daughter, who we hope will come to know her savior early. Who will be secure in her gender, who will be strong, delicate, and loving to all whom she will meet.
Her third name is Selah...and we picked the name as it means to "pause" or some people say the word selah stresses the importance or reality of what was said. So we hope that people will meet our daughter and pause...as they see Christ. This will happen in her life as she allows Christ to transform her day by day, and we as her parents need to model that for her.
So are we getting older...one more day in the grave. Hmmm, you could say that, but you could also say, we are being transformed into the very likeness of Christ, and are one day closer to glory. Where life really begins.