here I go

Whew...so much to read and listen to and get informed about. Very good! I'm not so much complaining as I realize, there is so much more to do...and say...and live.

I've been reminded over and over again, that culture and the world around me isn't my destiny, nor definition and that I am focused on the one and only God...that called me to being...who imagined me before anyone did. My struggle with gender and the distorted views that I have had...have diminished...and yet there is always residual things that creep up. I am so glad to be married to an amazing woman who laughs with me and enjoys the ride! I love her so much more today than I did when we got married.

Tomorrow, I leave for Orlando to attend the Exodus Leadership Conference. I am looking forward to the event. Curious as ever to see what God has for us and what He will be showing me as it pertains to the journey ahead. God has been pouring out his wisdom and understanding in new and fresh ways this year. Grace and mercy...grace and mercy.

To be honest...I think about the conference and I think about my attendance...and I am really stoked about the worship. God is pushing me into worship and to step out and sing...and to play...which has brought up a lot of stuff. I grew up in the performance mode of playing piano and singing. It was something that I loved, but you have to face it...for me, piano festivals...and chorus festivals brought out a lot of fear in me...insecurity...and really for me it was all about perfectionism. I had to be perfect. I couldn't mess up. If I did...that was it.
So fast forward to this year...I am stepping out to worship lead...to be on a worship team...and what rears it's ugly head...but perfectionism...a fear of making a mistake. I'm glad it did. Because it is something that I really don't want nor stand in my life...and so I send it away. I take risks...take every opportunity that comes my way...trusting that God is in it...will walk me through it...and give me the strength. I worship him. I play for him...I sing for him.


So here I go...off to Orlando...off to warmer weather (I hope) and off to meet with some amazing people, who love God...who have given up lots to serve their king.
May the Lord be honored and glorified and lifted up. If you think about us, please pray that we keep God front and center and that we will be refreshed from these meetings.

Please also pray for protection and provision for Paula and Phoebe. Provision is something that we are praying about...it has been very tight...and so much so that some days...we don't know how we will make it...but we know God has good things in store. Thanks to each of you who pray and read this...I am looking to write more...ya, ya...I said it before. But really, I hope that this year, is one of increased writing.

Love ya!