Deficits?

Deficits?

If we stopped and took inventory what would we find?  In the physical, the material world, I can look and see that we own a home (well the bank owns most of it), a bit of money in the bank, clothes, furniture, art, toys, books, electronics, gardening supplies, decorating supplies, food, photos and odds and ends that encapsulate our life as individuals and as a couple and family.

We can look closer and see the deficits.  The lack of retirement savings due in part to poor investment planning and lifestyle choices prior to our marriage and choosing to be in full time ministry (raising our own support) and my wife staying home to look after our daughter doesn't help in the worldly standard of savings.  We can view this as a deficit.  We can look at our financial debts and our desire to get rid of them as huge obstacles.  We can also compare ourselves to the infamous Jones, and if focused on keeping up with them, we would fail miserably.

Thankfully, we've come to a place of reconciling ourselves to know that our Father will supply us our every need.  Do not be anxious of anything, but in all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your steps.

This has been important for me this summer as everything started to break down in our home.  It seemed every time we got ahead financially, we'd be hit with an emergency repair or a bill or something that would set us back.  My secret thought that usually doesn't come out of my head was this "what have I done or not done that displeases God...because this must be his punishment to me?"  Interesting that this was my first and linger thought. 

Then I felt as if God prompted me to go to Philippians 4:6 and I was reminded again "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done."

I began to see what was even more important.  All that he has done for me, for my wife and for so many other people that we know.

The most important thing that God did was that he made a way for me.  He made a way so that my debt would be erased.  Wiped clean.  He took all my gender insecurities, sexual sin, deviancy, lies, unfaithfulness, lack of trust and countless other things and he sent his son Jesus to bear everything, to carry the weight of it all and it cost Jesus EVERYTHING.  All my debt gone?  Maybe not in the physical, but in the spiritual realm, it is totally gone.  I am free of shame and guilt and able to walk in the grace, love and mercy of a loving and just Father.  Who could compare to him?  Nobody.  I am thankful even when we are in lack. 

At the moment we are car-less.  In this place I am called to be thankful.  That doesn't mean I have an easy time with not having a car, especially with all that God asks of us, but He makes a way and he knows our need.  He knew it even before we had the need.  I know the plans he has for us, to give us a hope and a future.  I know that He will supply our every need...even a vehicle to drive.  I keep seeing that God wants me to take my hands off trying to find one, trying to get one...and wait and see what only He can do.  For it isn't about me or us, it is rather about him and His glory being made manifest in and through our lives.  Every part of our lives. 

To the world, this attitude is foolish, but to the Lord it is wise and rich.  We truly are God's blessed children!