Today, I got thinking of cake. This weekend I decided to make some banana cake that my neighbor makes which is totally delicious. By far it is the best banana cake I have ever had. I felt strange asking her for the recipe because the cake is that good. Sometimes when its that good people don't want to share or it almost feels sacred!
But, she shared. As I looked at the recipe and got all the ingredients out, I realized that I was missing vanilla. Oh no! It won't taste the same without that. I knew that I was going to be sharing the cake with my neighbor so I hoped that I wouldn't bomb at making it. Again, there is this sacredness to a recipe that I felt a bit worried about. What would she think?
I looked in the cupboard and found that I had just enough almond extract and so I shifted the recipe ever so slightly and included that instead of vanilla. As the cake baked, I made the icing and again, I veered off ever so slightly from the recipe. When I took the cake out, I sampled it and I have to admit, it was pretty darn amazing. After it cooled, I iced it and tried another piece...okay...that was it, I had taken a recipe that was already so good and made a few twists and it came out just different enough for it to be a stand alone recipe from the original. It was really good.
Why am I sharing this experience?
About a month ago, I was asking the Lord to answer my hearts cry to be renewed in an area of my life that I felt was in need of rejuvenation. Sometimes in life, we get comfortable, and I had gotten that way since this whole pandemic started. Even to the point that I was unsure that I wanted to even be in ministry anymore. This felt too difficult and I was tired. Maybe leave all this stuff to others and just let me be. Yet, inside I knew that this was a fleshly response and so I began to cry out for a revival. REVIVE ME GOD.
Less than a week later someone asked if they could come and meet and just read scripture, sing or pray together. I was game.
They came and sat down in the corner of my office and began to read the account of Elijah running away from Jezebel. (1 Kings 19)
Elijah was afraid and he ran for his life. He cries out to the Lord, "It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers." Then he lays down and sleeps under a broom tree. There an angel touched him and said, "Arise and eat". There Elijah looked and saw a cake baked on hot stones and a jar of water. He ate and lay down again. Then he falls asleep again. Again the Angel touched him and said, "Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you." So Elijah did what was told him. He eat and drank and then went in the strength of that for 40 days and 40 nights.
It goes on to say that Elijah came to a cave and dwelt within. The world of the Lord came to him and asked him what he was doing and Elijah proclaimed that He has been very jealous for the Lord, the God of hosts and that all the people of Israel had forgotten your covenant, and thrown down altars, killed prophets and here he is the only one left, and they are after him to take his life.
The Lord's response? Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord and there was a strong wind, an earthquake, a fire...and the Lord was not in that...but there came a still small voice, a whisper...and Elijah covered his face.
Afterwards God told Elijah what to do and he obeyed.
As this scripture was being read, I knew the Holy Spirit was speaking to me. What I heard was a still small voice...which spoke: "Fear Not, your new response to every thing that you will ever face in life is fear not."
All I could do was weep. Not with tears of sorrow or grief, but tears of joy. The Lord was asking me to eat some cake, the cake of His Words which were coming to sustain me and send me forth into ministry and his kingdom work. This felt like a new anointing. A new charge and I received it. It felt very similar to the words spoke to me 18 year ago when I heard God say "You don't have to go back to Egypt" and my life took a dramatic shift as I surrendered everything to follow Him.
So, it seems that I am surrendering again. I'm asking the Lord to feed me in a new way, and my response is Lord, give me cake! This new cake is slightly different and I need it for this season, to live a life of godliness and a life surrendered to you. All for your kingdom and your glory. Come Holy Spirit Come.
