Thursday, June 26, 2008

been a long time

Today, I am tired.

I am tired of being tired. I realize that when things are hard at work, it makes it challenging to be upbeat. I am a pretty optimistic person, and when that starts leaving then I can get pretty funky!!

My saving grace is home...and it being a sanctuary for me...and my wife, who I am so in love with. I thank God for her...and for Him bringing her into my life, to bring me balance and I am thankful that she believes in healthy guidelines on how to live life as a couple. I love it that she loves God more than me. Hmmm, crazy but true.

So, we face challenges...many.

For the most part, I am someone who loves and needs to write. To pen things down on paper or computer. To get my thoughts fully out of my head, this is what I need to do. I have been challenged to be more 'relational' to communicate out of my mouth, but what happens for me is that I am a slow thinker. I am not quick, so my responses to questions come later...once meetings are up, or when people leave. I think..."why didn't I say that?"

So I write, and sadly I have not been doing that lately and it has been showing. My mind seems to not be as focused...that could be the amount of things on my plate, it could be the grieving (which I put the money on). We had someone come and talk with us about loss, and to grieve that loss. She also told us what our bodies would do in the grieving stage...and everything she said. Anger, forgetfulness, loss of appetite, increased appetite...sleepiness...the list goes on.

We are trying our best to be healthy, to look after ourselves and each other in the midst of this all. Plus, look after the house, get things done here. It is a challenge but it makes us press in to God more. Both of us feel that.

On that note...What I am saying is that I miss my blog, miss writing. I have been in communication with a few people about issues and have been expressing myself more, and letting others know me again. It is good. After I got married...someone told me that they missed Kenn. What has happened is Kenn has evolved and become the Kenny that he was always meant to be. The man that he was supposed to be in all areas of his life.

So here's to evolution...or in other terms, restoration, redemption. Jesus is good, Papa is amazing...and all is well.


Cathy said...

Nice to have you back, Ive missed you're writing ;)

Douglas said...

Dear Kenny,

Please watched these touching videos about ex-gays,
and it's effect on innocent women's lives.

God Bless,

Janey said...

I'm new to the blogging world. I've read through this post before but I don't know if I had commented. I can't remember.

Anyways, I like what I've read so far.

I haven't checked out those Youtube video's but I've come in contact with quite a few women who are married to men who have come out of a homosexual background and it's been a healthy experience for the women.

Mind you, the women had their own set of challenges to work through.

But then again...

Are we not all on a journey of discovering who God originally intended us to be?

Of course He is.

He is in the business of healing and restoring. All of creation groans with eager expectation waiting for when the sons of God be revealed upon the face of the earth.

He's all about retoring us to His original intent. I always go back to Genesis before the fall. Before the fall in the garden we see what God originally intended.

What God originally intended and what is today are 2 totally different things.

I know you believe that. In part I'm preaching to myself.

For whatever reason, you didn't write much and I don't know what loss you've experienced but it sounds like it's been a great loss for you and your wife.

Well, I trust that you and your wife are walking with God and are being supported in your community.