So it has been a week that I have been doing the Living Waters course. We were told that spiritually the warfare might be great, colds could come on, depression, anything that could try and stop us from coming to class. Well, wouldn't you know it, I get a huge cold. Hard time breathing and coughing up my lungs! Argh! That and the fact that I do not have benefits at work, no sick days and today, I couldn't get out of bed in the morning. I had not slept the night before, tossing and turning. I get very emotional when I am sick and so tears come easily. Also, it has reminded me of my ex partner, who used to take care of me when I was sick and I have had to fight those memories as well. It is funny how this has all come up this week. It has made me aware again, at how I need to put my trust and faith in God. Who strengthens me, heals me and provides for my every need. I need to take care of myself better and get more sleep and exercise as well.
So if I have to, I will crawl to Living Waters tomorrow. Each of us has to give a talk tomorrow of why we are there, and what we expect to get out of the program. That excites me while giving me some fear of speaking in front of the group, the very essence of my brokenness. Well, it is soup time, then go to a medical clinic and see if this is just a cold. Then back in bed. Thanks to those who graciously pray for me. Blessings to you!
Monday, September 26, 2005
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Living Waters...beginning
It has been awhile since I previously posted. Lots of stuff, keep me from entering what could be challenging for people to read.
August and September have been interesting. Keeping busy with life...trying to keep my head above the waters and spending tons of time with family and friends.
Today marked the first Living Waters class. I am taking an indepth course on sexual and relational issues. I am excited and scared all at the same time. What will come up out of this for me on my pathway to healing? Knowing only that God is in control and a constant companion is enough for me right now.
Have had lots of moments of "what have I done?", "it would be easier to just take the more travelled path", "maybe my ex partner is right!". Then I think of the amazing encounter with God, the work that he has already started in me, and the promise of a healthier future. Family continues to be a blessing, as well as some very good and faithful friends who understand the pain I feel. It has been 6 months since I ended my relationship with my ex partner. There are times of overwelming grief, and then there are times when I don't think about it. Continuing the journey and holding on to Jesus is pretty much all I can do.
I think I have found the church that I want to attend. It is not in the area that I had hoped, but the worship and teaching is great...now, I just need to know about their community...and the support that they offer.
Having not worked for 4 months in the summer has depleted the stockroom, and so any work that I get I am thankful for. Anyone know of a wealthy person...who gives to charity!?!
I hopefully move to the transition house that I will be houseparent for. I got offered a position to look after a 6 room, rooming house and in turn I get a one bedroom suite for reduced rent....praise God! My gardening experience will come in handy as did my painting. The place is looking great. Now, I just need furniture and a computer to help with my studies at University. My plate is full, and I am thankful for everything.
So Living Waters began today and it was everything I thought it would be. Next week, we have to share why we are there, and where we are coming from. Whew...something that I have wanted to do and just don't know what to say. I want to go deep, but we have to keep it brief. I look forward to this opportunity.
So I will keep you all informed of what is going on for me and probably ask for prayer requests from time to time.
Any revelations will be posted.
Revelation....today....that God is always there. I can screw up royally and God still is there. That won't ever change. He is faithful, when I am not. He keeps reminding me of that. I found it pretty amazing last week that God allows me to be in a place of needing him for a reason. That I turn myself/face toward him and rely on him, instead of doing it all in my own strength. I continue to ask for his assistance to get out of debt and for my daily needs to be met, so I can fully be of service to him. We are limited when we are in debt! So he reminds me to tithe, to give freely beyond that and to see what happens! I await what he has in store for me.
Blessings to those who read these simple meanderings.
August and September have been interesting. Keeping busy with life...trying to keep my head above the waters and spending tons of time with family and friends.
Today marked the first Living Waters class. I am taking an indepth course on sexual and relational issues. I am excited and scared all at the same time. What will come up out of this for me on my pathway to healing? Knowing only that God is in control and a constant companion is enough for me right now.
Have had lots of moments of "what have I done?", "it would be easier to just take the more travelled path", "maybe my ex partner is right!". Then I think of the amazing encounter with God, the work that he has already started in me, and the promise of a healthier future. Family continues to be a blessing, as well as some very good and faithful friends who understand the pain I feel. It has been 6 months since I ended my relationship with my ex partner. There are times of overwelming grief, and then there are times when I don't think about it. Continuing the journey and holding on to Jesus is pretty much all I can do.
I think I have found the church that I want to attend. It is not in the area that I had hoped, but the worship and teaching is great...now, I just need to know about their community...and the support that they offer.
Having not worked for 4 months in the summer has depleted the stockroom, and so any work that I get I am thankful for. Anyone know of a wealthy person...who gives to charity!?!
I hopefully move to the transition house that I will be houseparent for. I got offered a position to look after a 6 room, rooming house and in turn I get a one bedroom suite for reduced rent....praise God! My gardening experience will come in handy as did my painting. The place is looking great. Now, I just need furniture and a computer to help with my studies at University. My plate is full, and I am thankful for everything.
So Living Waters began today and it was everything I thought it would be. Next week, we have to share why we are there, and where we are coming from. Whew...something that I have wanted to do and just don't know what to say. I want to go deep, but we have to keep it brief. I look forward to this opportunity.
So I will keep you all informed of what is going on for me and probably ask for prayer requests from time to time.
Any revelations will be posted.
Revelation....today....that God is always there. I can screw up royally and God still is there. That won't ever change. He is faithful, when I am not. He keeps reminding me of that. I found it pretty amazing last week that God allows me to be in a place of needing him for a reason. That I turn myself/face toward him and rely on him, instead of doing it all in my own strength. I continue to ask for his assistance to get out of debt and for my daily needs to be met, so I can fully be of service to him. We are limited when we are in debt! So he reminds me to tithe, to give freely beyond that and to see what happens! I await what he has in store for me.
Blessings to those who read these simple meanderings.
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