Does God speak? In the silence of the wilderness, in the shattering noise of a city street? What does it mean to wrestle with gender, and not accept the standard of just being gay? What does it mean to speak about that journey, accepting others, yet still be true to your own self? This is my journey out of silence, out of the shadows of others, not afraid of my own voice, rather, listening to my Rabbi speak my name, giving me strength.
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Back on...reconciliation
I can't really sleep at the moment, the last few days, to be honest, I have unwound myself by playing a ferocious game of bejeweled trying to beat my friends, who surprisingly have gotten very good scores...way to go!!
It does however get my mind going...working as I replay the day and the interactions that I have had.
I love to dialogue and to talk about how Christ is asking us to live life. I would say I think outside the box most days. A friend of mine explained it to another person. Kenny gets a thought, and he puts it on his blog, to get it out of his head and to get others thinking.
What a good explanation!!! Thanks LLS...you know who you are.
The Holy Spirit has been really speaking to me about motives...why I do or say specific things. There are times, when I would like to just sit down with specific people and hash things out. To say..."come on...get with it!!!" That statement doesn't really speak with a lot of grace...it is pretty black and white.
What gets me though are people...(okay, and I am harder on Christian's because I'm one of them) is that we do all these things to look great(works)...and yet can't seem to get it together to forgive or reconcile. Specifically when someone wrongs us, or we hold all the offenses in until one day it explodes and we put a boundary down and say, you hurt me and so you are unsafe. We spend so much time with the issue in our head, and never talk about it...and then we think it easier to just cut the person out of our lives, rather than realize that we too are in the wrong.
As I look at Christ, I see a savior, who is all about reconciliation. He reconciles us to himself. He sacrificed himself for us...and asks us to do the same.
Recently I heard some great teaching on how David walked this out in his own life. Walking in meekness in the face of injustice. How often do we walk with meekness when we face injustice? When do we give it over to God to be our advocate...our help...our friend? Do we ever lay our own feelings of offendedness and ask "Lord, what would you have me do?" Rather than shut the person out of our lives. How often do we look at our own sin...or ask the Lord...to search me, see if there be any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting? Ps 139:24
It got me thinking of my own life, and how I am prone to not speak out of passivity, out of the thought that the other person may not like me anymore. I am being challenged to step out of that and speak truth...to the body of Christ...the Church...the bride of Christ. He is coming back...and he is looking for a spotless bride. I want to be one of those spotless brides. I want to ask the Holy Spirit to search me...so that I can work out my sin. I am not happy to stay stuck or in the same place, and I value people enough to want reconciliation, restoration, repair. We are never meant to not do the hard work of reconciliation. If we have a problem with our spouse or child...do we just put up a wall and refuse to talk to them, or shut them out of our lives? Why then do we do it to others? It actually cripples the other person as well as yourself. Each action that we do or refuse to do either brings life or it brings death.
I wonder then, how are we seeking to reconcile with those who may have offended us?
I wonder then, are you willing to stop and look at your own sin?
I wonder then, can you see Christ? Can you see his sacrifice...when we didn't deserve it, and realize, we are called to be Christ to everyone in our lives?
And...who per chance is watching? Who is looking at every move you make, if you like it or not? Our unsaved brothers and sister!!! They are looking at how we live, love and forgive. So if we aren't fostering forgiveness and love and reconciliation...forget giving your testimony, forget talking about Jesus and how he saves and reconciles people to God...because you are just a clanging cymbal, hurting the ears you are speaking to.
Seem harsh...probably...but life is hard sometimes, and we need to grow up and realize that it isn't easy sometimes, and we are called to be examples, and a shining light for the world to see...their savior.
Good night!!!
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1 comment:
Wow! I needed to read that today. Thank you, Kenny.
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