Saturday, October 08, 2005


Merriam-Webster gives this definition on Transparent:

a : free from pretense or deceit : FRANK b : easily detected or seen through : OBVIOUS c : readily understood

Transparency reads this:

1 : the quality or state of being transparent
2 : something transparent; especially : a picture (as on film) viewed by light shining through it or by projection

I believe my life should be lived in a transparent way. If I see myself as a vessel to be used by God in my daily walk. I need to allow him to shine his light through me. My life is like a film being played. Life moves on and I find myself in a play of humanity. We are all in this film together. All searching and trying to find our way. We all have our own stories to tell. A lot of us look to God to help direct us and we put our faith in him. I want to be easily detected or seen through. I do not want there to be any pretense about me. I want to be readily understood.
God says that one day we stand in front of him and our life will flash before us and we will see every good deed as well as bad one...sound a little scary!! My only reassurance is the blood of Jesus that covers those sins, even the little wee ones that I don't think matter, so I say a big THANK YOU!!!

So what does it mean to live transparently in the every day, relationships, family, church?
I think I am at the beginning stages. I still often cling to the warm fuzzy blanket of wall building and keeping myself nice and isolated. Don't let anyone in. Don't show that emotion! But, there are times when I let my guard down, maybe by accident, maybe on purpose...who knows. But I do. I don't often regret doing that as it brings me closer to others, allows them to see me as myself, and allows me to be real. Quite an accomplishment after years of self preservation. It is watching what I say. It is not going there...when I hear people gossip, it is running to God when I am at my wits end...when temptations surround me like an army...ready to kill me (okay...just wanting you to get the picture).
It is calling my accountability partner...who is doing a fine job...THANKS!!! It is allowing myself to feel. Be that anger, saddness, joy (haven't been having that a lot) and what ever comes up. Keeping it real, living my faith, knowing that as broken as I feel sometimes, there has to be some light at the end of the tunnel.

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