Orientation Crazy

There are so many voices, so many books and I couldn't be more happy and sad at the same time.  You see, never in my life have I seen or heard so many people talking at the table with regards to gender and sexuality.  It's in the news, on social media and most likely a topic that everyone of us will enter into with someone.

Maybe it's with a family member or friend who struggles with their sense of gender identity or sexuality and it could be with someone who doesn't struggle but fully embraces an orientation or identity within the LGBTQ descriptive.

I get it!  Having struggled with gender identity issues and unwanted same sex attraction, and then coming out gay identified, I get it.  I get the notion of needing and wanting to have a sense of congruence with how I felt in regards to my orientation.  I wanted to carry the card that said, "I AM GAY...and if I want to transition to a woman...that is my RIGHT! Just get over it already!"  I spent years trying to fit in with what I thought a heterosexual man was, and even more, what a Christian Heterosexual Man was supposed to be.  I tried not to show any signs of 'gayness!' or that I might secretly desire to be wearing women's clothes, and the more I tried to hide, the more I struggled to find normalcy.  I definitely wasn't living authentically or true to my 'feelings' but how was I supposed to live my life?

So eventually the hiding stopped and I came out.  GLORY BE, I WAS FREE!!  I could breathe, I could relate to others with similar stories and I could finally say..."This is how I was to be all along!" I lived like this for almost 8 years, with a strong sense of my orientation.  This is how I was created, this is how I was called to live my life.  I wasn't acting, or playing gay and I was no longer trying to act as a heterosexual man.

I was orientation CRAZY!

You couldn't tell me that I was anything else, because if God didn't eradicate the 'unwanted feelings' toward the same gender, then they should really be my authentic self.  Sigh of relief.  In my many circles of friendships this was often the mantra.  We didn't 'talk' about why we might feel this way, we just always said 'this is who we are'.
Then God did a funny thing.  Well, it wasn't necessarily funny, but it was life changing for me.  He spoke to me! In a moment when I was at a crossroads, I allowed myself to 'crack' just a little...I asked him for help and he spoke clearly.  He didn't say in a booming voice, "Thou Shall Not be GAY, Thou Shall Not be Transgendered!"  He said, "You don't have to go back to Egypt!"

What resonated was my orientation.  I knew God was saying I don't have to be gay identified, nor transgender identified nor heterosexual identified!  I knew God was saying; "Kenn,  your orientation is me!  PERIOD!"  The joy of the Lord in that moment was my strength, it filled me completely and was probably overflowing all over the place.  I would love to see that moment from above...what did I look like?  Was I glowing?  All I knew is that it felt like scales falling off my eyes and I could see clearly and know that this was HUGE!

I became crazy about orienting my vision and my identity in Jesus, allowing the Holy Spirit to reveal more and more of Jesus, who in relationship with me, revealed my heavenly father who had always wanted my gaze to be on HIM ONLY.  Not on my life, my own sense of orientation, my desires etc.  He was saying "Come follow me!"  Will you lay down everything to follow me?"  Absolutely!

I knew as well that my journey would be hard.  It wouldn't be easy to swim upstream.  When I laid down the gay orientation label, it was by far, way easier in culture to be gay identified. What was I thinking?  Couldn't I just be a gay celibate Christian?

The temptation was there, yet it now felt in-congruent with who God was saying I was.  I was a new creation, created for his glory.  I was slowly being transformed more and more into who he had created me to be and that was toward his Holiness.

So, my orientation shifted and so did my language.  All things were being made new and this is good news.  Culture dictates and even many Christian's say: to be authentic with how one thinks and feels is critically important. To life healthy is to not deny your 'orientation'.  Yet, one can authentically say, this is how I feel, this is what I desire, Jesus help me in the journey and point me to my heavenly Father whose love is so radical and sweet...so much so that I'm compelled to lay down my life and find it in Christ, and in the body of Christ.  Relevancy is not in becoming more and more like culture, but rather more and more like Christ, who denied himself and took up the cross to set us free, to live fully present, fully aware within the body of Christ.

I write this because this story is not uncommon.  Thousands of men and women share a similar story and we are part of the make up of a diverse society.  A society that would like to say, our voice is not to be heard.  That we are 'acting' rather than 'being' authentically ourselves and yet we can honestly say, "Who the Son sets free is free indeed!" 

The Death of Kendra

The Title of this post could bring some question as to what I'm writing about.  Did a friend or someone I know pass away?  Am I writing about someone who has died?

To be frank, yes!  I am writing about a death of some sort, but not a physical death of something but rather an idea and a thought process that used to take up a lot of my time. 

I awoke this morning from a vivid dream.  One that caused me to pause and reflect and think about discipleship and walking life freely in love with God my Father who directs my steps, who places guard rails on the path for my well being, and then exhorts me to walk with others, showing them the love of Jesus.

Psalm 16:5-9 reads:

5The LORD is the portion of my inheritance and my cup;
  You support my lot.
6The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places;
  Indeed, my heritage is beautiful to me.
7I will bless the LORD who has counseled me;
  Indeed, my mind instructs me in the night.
8I have set the LORD continually before me;
  Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
9Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices;
  My flesh also will dwell securely.

With this in minds, my dream was about this man who went by the name Kendra!  I knew it was me, dressed and living as a woman.  I was with a group of transgendered people both men and women and we were entering into a movie theater.  There were empty seats all around the theater yet none together, so we all sat by ourselves.  The movie was just beginning when a man shouted out obscenities toward the group.  It was degrading and horrific.  I felt in that moment this surge of justice and with all the courage I could muster, I stood up and spoke to the crowd.  I spoke clearly that no one had the right to treat others like that, especially when you have no clue as to who that person is and what they are going through or been through.  

I can't remember everything that I said, but I called for the man who spoke the obscenities to be man enough to stand up!  I expected a large physical man to stand, but a short, thin man appeared.  With remorse in his eyes, I could tell that he was sorry for the words that he had spoken.

When I woke up, I wondered why I had this dream and what the purpose of it was.  The more I meditated on it, I felt like God was saying, "Kenny, Kendra is dead!  Even the thought of Kendra is now dead!"  I felt as if God was reminding me that even though for me, Kendra is dead, we are still called to be like Jesus in how we talk and love those to whom we may not understand.

I look at my life and realize that yes, the thought of being "Kendra" is done!  God has transplanted His ways and His thoughts into my mind and heart.  He had reclaimed my identity and affirmed my gender identity to how He formed and created me to be.  Fully man!  Will old patterns of thought still make it's way to my consciousness?  Of course, that's what defines me as human.  But these thoughts need not control me or cause me to re-think who I am in Christ.  I no longer need to assume a false identity or create one to appease the broken places within me.

I believe that God was showing me in this dream that despite my best efforts, when I take matters into my own hands, Kendra can live, and yet when I submit my life to God...every part of my life, Kenny lives!  In the midst of all of this, I have no right to tear someone down and call out obscenities.  What I felt God saying is GET INVOLVED and get to know people where their at.  When you have no clue on how to respond or what to say, pray that God bring you into people's lives, so you can walk out your faith authentically!  



 

 

What will you give up?

I was listening to an interview this past week and one phrase stuck out for me.  "What will you give up?"

For most of us the idea of giving something up that means a lot to us challenges us and can bring quite a bit of conflict to our humanness.  What happens when this something is particularly engrained in us and something we think cannot be given up?

As I drove to work today, I was pondering life and the complexities of it.  I am amazed at what God has done in the areas of my life that I have given over to him.  Some out of obedience and some with kicking and screaming while others were easy to give up out of a love relationship with an eternal Father.

Today, I got thinking of my gender and my worth as a man.  What came to me was this thought..."Kenny, you could have changed your body with hormones and surgery, but you cannot change the composition of your DNA...the blueprint of how God made you, unique and fully male!"  Maybe with science and the way things are headed we can manipulate and change things around by a human perspective...focusing on being creator rather than acknowledging that we are created beings...designed by God for His glory.

I look at my hands, my features and other bodily parts and recognize the masculine traits on the outside, but what about the ones on the inside that fought with the outward expression.  I couldn't stop the formation of hair on my chest, or the sharpness of my jaw, the thickening of my torso, the shape of my being was in conflict with my inner self that cried out for the softness of the feminine.  I began to hate how I was created rather than be in awe of how I was created.

When God profoundly spoke to me in 2005 and called me out of my Egypt into the wilderness, I knew it was about giving up.  It was to give up control of my life and how I had created and worshiped my life.  It was no longer me that was in charge but God who knows infinitely more than I do and who cares for me with deep compassion.

I had to give up the notion that I was gay and I had to give up the notion that I could have a sex change.  These things were deeply ingrained in me for years.  I remember vividly a time when my mom after catching me wear her clothes say "they have operations for that!"  She doesn't remember saying it and I think it was said mostly out of the fear of the unknown, yet it penetrated in my being and this nagging sense of insecurity reared it's head.  It stuck with me.  This idea of what if.

Yet, I looked in the mirror and saw something very male.  I watched every talk show that was geared toward transsexualism and I was fascinated by what I saw and heard.  Could it be that I could do it too?
But what I began to witness was the manipulation of the body to conform to the minds thoughts.  Essentially, I saw men in women's clothing.  I saw the effects of what female hormones could do, yet, the movement, the bone structures, the work it would be to transform felt like a lie to me.  It wasn't negating the deep feelings inside or the turmoil, yet, it seemed to me that there was something else that played a factor.  Could it be the environment and behavioral structures of their early years played a factor?  I had to examine mine.

In doing this examination, I had to give up the notion that my environment had nothing to do with my struggle and disorded sense of gender.  I had to realize that how I was parented and my own interpretations of events were part of the factors of my development.  I had to give up and see God at work in and through my life as a man.  The complexities of the journey given over to Him so He can help navigate and direct my steps toward health in all areas of my life.

Giving up...ya, I've had to give up a lot.  I don't regret any of it, nor would I wish my life to be something else.  Truth be told, God is constantly revealing things in me that I need to give up...and in giving up, I receive so much more than what I could imagine.  He fills me with joy, peace, love and gives me good things to replace the stuff that is tarnished, old and broken down.  I won't say it's easy and it won't hurt.  On the contrary, it usually does and quite a bit actually.  But what comes out of the ashes of pain is often a beautiful aroma of praise.

So, what are you giving up?  What is God asking you to give over to Him?

Lost in Transgender?

This morning, I woke up with a deep sense that I desperately need God's wisdom.  I value education, workshops, books, but when it comes down to the crunch...especially in ministry, we need to rely heavily on wisdom that comes from our Eternal Creator Father God.


This post will come out of conversations that are now happening in regards to transgender issues.  Most people especially in the Church feel helplessly lost and alone with this issue,  I would dare say even within secular society and even in the LGBTQQ communities!  There has not been any long term case studies on transgender especially in the area of faith and so we can feel like we have no clue in regards to the roots of development or biological factors.


As I have been dialoguing about this, I then turn my gaze toward God.  I ask him the questions that I have.  "God, why are there no clear answers and if there are...can you show me?  Is this biological? Environmental?"

I sensed a bit of an answer the other day.  No neon light answer...but rather a deeper, quieter response back.  I sensed God say, "What if biology plays a role in this?  Did that mean I made a mistake?  Do you realize the state that everyone lives in?  Do you realize that you live in a fallen/broken world?  Could this extend to transgender issues?"  We concur that with homosexuality, biology does play a role, we would be ignorant if we didn't believe that we could be born with a sensitivity toward struggling with gender given our creative/sensitive/relational bent...and factoring in the environment, interactions with our family unit, peers, how our perceptions speak to us and other varying things...which can cause us to struggle with homosexuality.

Can this be said in regards to transgender issues?  I can look at my own life and see...yep, I was born with a more sensitive relational side to me which caused me to gravitate toward females (who relate and communicate more freely) and staying in this environment and considering interpretation and perceptions of my  parents, family, peers, began feeling like I was a mistake, born in the wrong body.  How come I couldn't be a girl like those I played with.  I clearly remember trying on my mothers wedding dress, wondering what it would be like to be a woman.  It excited me, caused me to begin to play with the notion that maybe I could one day.
Couple with the disassociation toward my male peers and my attraction to guys this propelled me to consume my thoughts with having  a sex change.  For years I thought that my issue was strictly homosexuality, but the more I remember of my past, and my behaviors, thoughts and actions, I realize that it is only by the grace of God that I did not have a gender reassignment surgery.  I know that even now, with much healing I still have the occasional thought of  "what would it be like?"  I realized in my healing that no matter what I decided, and if I went that route, it wouldn't give me long term happiness.  I may lead to happiness in the short term and it would fix the confusion on the outside but on the inside I'd still remain the same Kenny that I was born as.  My DNA says male...but what if tests showed that I had a hormone imbalance or missing this or that?  I'd still have been born male.  Many people can decide to switch this, live like that, but in reality we cannot change the blue print that God made when he designed and formatted us in our mother's womb.  Our body, our shape, our DNA points to a God who didn't screw up or make a mistake when he designed us.  He formed us, and said, this is good.  Living in a fallen, sinful world, we also know that we where born into sin.  There can be things that go wrong biologically, but does that mean we throw away our gender and decide to be something that will make it easier for us?  For me, if I think honestly about my life...I could say it would be easier to throw in the towel and be gay or transgendered...then I wouldn't have to deal with all the other deeper more meaningful stuff in my life.  It is tough sometimes, yet, life and learning to know the complexities of life and growth and maturity means that life is going to be hard sometimes...but we face this all with Christ walking alongside of us.  The Holy Spirit teaching and guiding us through our submission to the Lord.  Listening to the words of God affirming us in the created design he had for us when we were born male or female.

There is a lot written in the secular world which is creeping into the church in regards to transgender issues and development.  Much of it is affirming the reassignment surgery, that this is the answer to the confusion.  This issue is gaining momentum, gaining strength culturally.  I continue to think about this issue as it is very close to my heart.

I don't think we can discount that there are many factors that play a part in development of gender identity disorders.  As I see it, the factors are spiritual, biological, emotional and relational.  I believe that with all of us, the greatest gift God gave was giving us free will.  So that we aren't puppets, but rather we are free to decide and live how we want to live.  It's deciding how we live with that free will!  As we walk in relationship with Christ, as God's children, we mature, grow develop  and submit to His leadership in our lives.  Sometimes we don't like it right?  We fight with Him, we do things our way, we'd like to be our own boss sometimes, and yet we laid down that right when we submitted to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.  Like it or not, it has a cost.  I know that Gender matters.  It is very important to God and how we live it out is crucial to the world around us.  How we compliment each other as gender beings (male and females) is a great treasure, as it shows the world God's image in it's fullness.  Can we see, that if our gender was distorted or confused, it breaks down how we compliment each other.  It breaks down the image of God.


With all of this said, no one can "change" another persons mind on how they decide to live their life.  I'd love to be able to scream it out...that it really does matter, that our naturally born genders is very important, yet until God enlightens an individual and validates their birth gender nothing will change.  I know this to be true in my life.  Until I had an encounter with the Living God, I was blinded to the truth.  I didn't fully know the roots, the developmental or biological factors that played a part in my gender and sexuality, until I was enlightened by God.  It has cost me a lot, but I count it all loss for the gain of Christ and an eternal perspective of the decisions I make here and now have an effect later on.


So to each of you who may encounter someone who is deciding to follow a path that you totally don't understand, but you see heartache, brokenness because you've encountered God in a way that has changed your perspective, ask Him for Wisdom and Understanding that makes the wisdom of man look foolish.  Seek Him first.  Acknowledge Him and He will direct your steps.  Love those who have these deep struggles with gender and sexuality.  They need encounters with Jesus Christ!  Love like you've never loved before.  You don't need an answer to love others, you don't need cliches, you just need to be dependent of your Father who will give you all you need through the outpouring of the Holy Spirit which dwells within you.

New Shoes

New Shoes - previously published in Christian Courier

The Lord spoke a profound word to me this past month, through a very innocent act done by my 2 ½ year old.  As I was getting ready to go out for a meeting my daughter brought me a pair of shoes.  She proudly carried them to my feet and promptly put them down right in front of me and said, “Daddy’s shoes?”

I looked down and didn’t see my shoes but the shoes of my wife.  Red wedges, definitely not mine.  Phoebe waited there patiently for me to put them on.  I told her that these shoes would not fit Daddy and that they weren’t mine but that they were Mommy’s.  She didn’t move.  I showed her as I slipped my bare feet into them that my feet were too big.  My toes fit, but my heels hung a good 3 inches off the back.  She stood smiling as I showed her that these were not a good fit.  Sure, I could walk in them and get around in them but they were not mine. 

I took them off, put them in the closet and grabbed my shoes and put them on, showing her that they fit my feet perfectly and that these were in fact Daddy’s shoes.  Little did Phoebe or I know the significance of her innocent action or what God would again remind me of later that week?  I left it at that and went to my meeting not thinking twice about those shoes or Phoebe’s insistence that those red wedges were Daddy’s. 

That week in Church I was playing the piano for the worship team and as we were singing I got a picture of those red wedges and my feet in them.  I was taken back a bit and kept playing but then felt the Lord say to me that He has given me new shoes, ones that fit my feet perfectly and that in these shoes I could stand upright, strong, a man capable of being a husband, father, brother and son.  I was reminded of the time when I used to wear shoes like that.  When my masculinity was so broken and my identity marred due to circumstances in my childhood.  I had always secretly hoped that I could eventually become a woman.  I was reminded of the times I used to wear my mom’s shoes, pretending to be just like her.  I wished that I could wear shoes like that without shame or fear of being ridiculed and called names.  I had always felt odd in my skin, in my gender and even though at the time I was comfortable being gay, my secret longing was that I could eventually have gender reassignment surgery and that would be the final answer for this empty feeling inside. 

God met me in a profound way which stopped that process from ever happening.  My masculinity and sense of gender healed through submitting my life over to God and for him to set things in order so that I could stand secure in whom I was clearly designed to be.  I am grateful to God as I look at my life and all that He has done and blessed me with.  To know that without him my life could have looked very different than what it is today.

Those shoes reminded me of my past, but the greater reminder was God saying that he has given me new shoes, a new identity, one that he had intended from the beginning when he knit me together in my mother’s womb.  These new shoes fit and the other ones never did.  No matter what I could do those red wedges would always be shoes that would never quite match the DNA of my feet.  I felt like God was speaking this as a reminder to me but also to all of us.  I walked many years in the wrong shoes, even though God had something better for me, but he has the same gift for all of us.  He calls each one of us to take off the shoes that don’t fit and allow Him to fit us with those perfect fitting shoes.  New shoes, ready for us to walk in the fullness of who we were created to be all along.  Are you ready to take off your shoes?  Because God, your Father who knew you before anyone else did is ready to fit you with ones that fit you perfectly.

Trans....ition!

Gender identity can be very complex and complicated. Each persons who struggles with their gender identity is unique and precious in Jesus' eyes. He looks at the heart and not so much the outer appearance.

How many times do we base all our assumptions just on the outward and have no clue as to what it happening on the inside? Sometimes we may think, "oh...if __________ just got their life together, everything would be great. If they could just look and act like everyone else...you know...not be so out of place!"

I wonder a lot about how we welcome people into our lives, families and the body of Christ. I wonder how we welcome those who just don't quite fit our definitions or even our conveniences. It got me thinking of when I was gay identified.

When I came out at 30...it shocked a lot of people. Mostly because my journey was pretty isolated to my own self. I didn't let a lot of people in to see my internal struggles. Recently God has been healing my own perceptions of gender distortions. For years, I secretly longed to be a female. This began in my early years (probably around the age of 5 or 6). I didn't at that time pronounce that I wanted to be a girl, I just felt out of place and awkward in my body. I didn't want to be a boy...and I saw all these girls that played with dolls, dressed up and I liked that. I wished I could do all of that, so I began interpreting that "I was a mistake, that I wasn't like other boys and that I should have been a girl." Now, if I was affirmed as a boy (that masculinity is really caring for others...being gentle to dolls, and creative...dressing up) maybe with the help of good interpretation of my recording that distortion may not have happened. So internally I struggled with my sense of gender. Secretly dressing up in my mother/sisters clothes and when no one was around, I bound myself, wore make up and tried to look convincing. Early on...I certainly did. I prided myself in looking like a girl. I didn't have a word for this longing or desire. I found out later through the internet and through Television that this was "trangender". It kinda fit for me. Maybe this was why I was attracted to the same sex. Maybe it was because I was born in the wrong body...that God really did make a mistake, that somehow my DNA and hormones were screwed up. This was a birth defect!!!

But the idea of talking about this with my family, with those around me (small town) was totally unacceptable. I resigned deep within me that maybe someday I would transition. So in secret, I dressed up. Until I came out as gay identified, I began playing with make up, dressing up and eventually would go out in public on Halloween or other occasions dressed as a woman...always in the safety of the fact that it was now deemed "drag". I over exaggerated the "look" of being a female. I was pretty convincing on a few occasions. I went so far as to even ask my partner if I ever did want to transition would he be okay with it. Surprisingly he was.

So deep down, there was always this longing to transition. Some of the things that stopped me was the extensive surgery, the apparent need for plastic surgery to make my face more feminine (softer lines, smaller nose, removing the adam's apple, electrolysis, implants and the necessary removal of my genitalia. Even though growing up I hated my anatomy, I couldn't think of that. Maybe internally it meant that I would no longer be able to father a child (naturally). I know that I thought a lot about it and it sometimes consumed me with fantasy and dreams and hopes of a different life as a woman.

Today, I was reminded of God's saving grace and mercy. How almost 7 years ago, He showed me a bigger picture and began restoring my broken gender identity. My identity as a male and my security in my body is almost 180 degrees different. There are days when the residuals of my past creep in, old thought patterns and thinking try to overwhelm me. When I see men who on the outside appear stronger more capable more confidant than me and the insecurities try to consume me, I remind myself that I am a good gift right where I am at. That in my own mess, God is the one who continual cleans and affirms me. It is His voice that is the one of acceptance and worth.

My life is not perfect, I don't have it all together, I sometimes act quite different than those around me, sometimes I am awkward in social settings and say or do things others wouldn't. I am reminded all the time that I am not out of place. Jesus welcomes me to the foot of the cross and there standing beside me is other children of God. The seemingly "put together pastor", the drunkard, the prostitute, the orphan, the widow, the mother, sister, brother, father, co-worker, neighbor, teenager, gay, lesbian, transgender, two spirited, queer, adulterer, liar, thief, gossiper, those who envy, covet, idolators, the rich, the poor. The list goes on.

At the cross we lay down our broken lives and hope is put into us. Extravagant mercy is extended to us. With that extravagance is this amazing gift of grace and truth. Truth to who we are created to be. Truth of the glorious inheritance that we have and importance of our gender and sexual identities.

Psalm 50...reads well of this beautiful grace and mercy as well as discipline and hope. It ends with "But giving thanks is a sacrifice that truly honors me. If you keep to my path, I will reveal to you the salvation of God."

Lord Jesus...I give you thanks for opening my eyes, giving me new vision to see the importance of my gender. How you created me is no mistake, I honor my body as your creation. I am thankful that I didn't put it into the hands of others nor distorted and changed it to be something else. Jesus, I plead that you would meet each of us where we are at, would you give new sight. Bring a revelation of your mercy and love and pour out true understanding to your children...and those not yet your children. Bring clarity to our sense of gender and sexual identities...that are not based on others views, but of yours. Amen

Gender and Sexuality...is it really that important?

I have had several emails from those who read my last column “Born this way? CC August 22, 2011), and I want to thank all my readers for taking the time to consider the words that I put together. This column dealt with social issues, focusing primarily on same gender attraction and the church.

To some, this issue may be something we “just don’t talk about,” while to others there may be an attitude of “what’s the big deal, it really isn’t much different than someone dealing with heterosexual lust issues.” I believe that our gender and sexual identities are very important not just for us, but to God and how he designed us. Culturally speaking, we live in a hostile climate. My mom, who has spoken along side my wife and I at various settings, states that there is a “climate change” that is happening and she’s not talking about the environment. Rather, she’s talking about a change in how the church and society views gender and identity. Some church communities are slowly becoming an affirming place for those who are gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered, and by doing so are encouraging these people to continue walking in their broken state rather than offering the hope of restoration through Jesus Christ.

Gender and sexual identities are important. I believe that God formed us and made us male and female, and that he created us to be this way for a reason. Specifically, he did this so that we could bear his image to the world around us as we walk in whole and holy relationships with the opposite sex. What we are seeing is a distortion of gender, a confusion regarding sexual identity and an embrace of a fallen, broken state. The enemy of God loves this. The enemy of God (Satan, Devil or whatever name you call him), wants to wipe God off the face of the earth. He will do whatever he can to accomplish this. This is a bold claim, but I believe that one of the last frontiers that the enemy has is our gender and our sexuality. Abortion has been going on for years, killing innocent babies. Babies that God knew, created and had plans for. The enemy continues to have his hand in the whole area of abortion, but that isn’t enough. If he can distort the image of God in any way, then he has done his job.

Someone who read my last column asked me “Really, what is so different about same gender strugglers?” For myself, I came to the place of realizing that my unwanted same sex attraction was no different than a heterosexual man dealing with lust (other than
the object of our lust). The root issues for me were very similar. I struggled with shame, insecurity, low self esteem, control and anger. When these core issues are triggered it caused me to seek comfort in the arms of another man. Often when these core issues are triggered for a heterosexual man dealing with sexual addiction, it causes them to seek comfort in the arms of a woman.

It’s important to realize though that those who struggle with unwanted same sex attraction come from varied background and experiences, and that the issue is very complex. It isn’t just a pat answer that will help the struggler. The person who struggles has often spent years in silence, often fearing a negative response from those in their community, specifically within the body of Christ. How we respond and how we love is very important to those who struggle with gender and sexual identity issues. If what I believe is true regarding the enemy destroying God’s image by distorting gender, then the body of Christ needs to rise to be a different voice, a voice of hope and restoration. It needs to rise to it’s place as a community of grace and truth. Affirming and bringing people into the healing presence of Jesus Christ is crucial. Loving people and being truthful about our own broken places will hopefully allow others to realize that the body of Christ is a safe place to seek out the restoration of God’s intended purpose for our gender and sexual identities. This is a huge issue we are facing. One that won’t “just go away,” but is at the very heart of a God whose image depends on how we walk out our gender and sexuality.