Wednesday, July 20, 2005

july 20th, 2005 We set out broken

We set out broken, began my journal entry today.
Matthew 17 reminded me..."you are my son, whom I am well pleased, now listen to me!"
God is well pleased.

I woke up this morning with the words Amazing Love-how can it be, that you my Lord would die for me.
Because He LOVES me! Me a sinful, wretched man, full of my own agenda, my own desires. But through all of that you my Lord died for me, and God the Father told me He is well pleased even in my brokenness He loves me. Again, you oh Lord, are my all and all. It's amazing really at the love of God, the amazing Love.
Transparent-again the foundation of healing wounds.
Today the morning teaching was on Esther and Mordecai
Esther used her authority well and God intervened...God intervenes in our lives...in my life.
Look for a Mordecai who will stand at the gate for you...Mordecai waited at the gate for Esther everyday...for 12 months...he looked out for her and cared for her wellbeing.
He was aware, he waited, he listened, because he loved and cared for Esther.
Mordecai also instructed Esther. He did not advise her or give his opinion, but instructed her.
Seek out someone who will instruct you. Mordecai had great faith in God.
If you are a Mordecai...you must trust God for your Esther...you must mentor...and realize that it is all about God. Mordecai...you must challenge your Esther's for great things.
Mordecai...had fear in no man...but he feared God.
Esther...put more faith in God...rather than putting all her faith in Mordecai. She waited on God. For instance, she waited 3 days afer her request for the Jewish people to pray and fast.
She was humble and she blessed Mordecai.

Yesterday, the word that popped into my head was surrender...so I did.
Today, it was sacrifice.

Sacrifice...Great is thy Faithfulness, to all that I sacrifice. I lay down my own agenda and sacrifice it to God. I look out from my own brokenness and trust God. His sacrifice was eternal and it was for me....heavy!
All that I need God has provided. Sacrifice, a continuing giving up of my own power and control. It is walking hand in hand with the father who speaks in the cool of the evening. Calling me out of the brokenness.

It's amazing to me this conference. The little bits of conversation with men and women. It's the indepth conversations too, of hearing stories of God's love and of the change that is possible. Being engulfed in worship...and feeling the brokenness at the same time.
I ask you Lord to continue to draw my heart to yours. To embrace my heart. I have enough head knowledge to last a while. I now need and ache for the heart. That my heart be forever yours. That I continue to fall more and more in love with you. Everyday, every minute, every second. My heart beats to the sound of your voice calling me your son.

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